Stardate 42561.9
I can't sleep. There's still almost an hour until Gamma Shift, and I could really use the sleep, but I just can't. I have a bad feeling. Since I set out from Earth to join the crew of the Enterprise-D, we haven't gone more than four days in a row without some catastrophe or another, and I just feel like we're due for another one. Just last week we all had our memory wiped my Romulans and replaced by false memories that made us believe we were fighting each other. I almost killed Stuart, the warehouse manager, because I thought he was a lizard warrior from Tau 6. Luckily, Commander Data had his memories backed-up on tape, and after he restored us he was able to augment the flux inhibitors to reflect the controlling isotronic beam that was scattering our brainwaves, thereby restoring our original memories. Or something like that. A few days before that we were invaded by an alien energy-based life-form when we flew through an unexplored nebula in the Thart'ook system. They fed on all energy transmissions from the ship. The harder we drove the engines, the more sensor readings we took, the more we tried to send out communications to Star Base 205, the more powerful they grew. Eventually we had to shut down the whole ship in a gamble to get them to go away. We almost froze to death before they moved on. And the week before that our accident prone captain was captured (again) by an invisible force and we had to create an elaborate holograph projection to replace the captain while we smuggled him back. I could go on and on... I thought this was a peaceful science mission! I've almost died 37 times this year, I've been in sickbay more than any janitor has a right to be, I've had my body taken over, mind wiped and controlled, I've been sick with plagues from a dozen different star systems, I've been phase-shifted out of reality, and once I think I was cloned and sent back 5 minutes in time to kill myself and take my place, but I can't actual remember if that happened or not. I actually had to disconnect the Yellow Alert indicator in my room because it was going off pretty much constantly for a few weeks, and I couldn't sleep. At least the food is better than at my last assignment. Anyway, enough rambling... I pulled Ten Forward on the duty sheet last night, and it's going to take a while to clean after Lt. Warf's birthday (ever tried cleaning bloodwine out of carpet?), so I might as well give up on sleep and get a head start.
Stardate 42562.4
Yep... almost died. We were trapped inside a space-time bubble created by a cosmic amorphous entity, and then we started seeing visions of our lives in alternate timelines and dimensions. Luckily Commander La Forge created a beam-diverter by repolarizing the warp engine's energy diverters, and used it to cut through the fabric of the bubble, resulting in a huge explosion that we just barely escaped from. Also, I think all of our organic cells were shrunk by 0.3% in the process, but no one seems to mind too much. And in all that excitement I didn't have time to clean up that bloodwine, and now it's stained the carpet permanently. Shit.
Stardate 42599.7
Imm to drnkkk nto typp bytg i wanwtd to say i amde out wit ensgn mcdaniels at th staf parrtu tnight. wwooooo@ she so hottt!! dam i luv synthohol -- its nassty, but heym repalimacation is free right!??
Stardate 42600.1
Ow, my head... what the hell happened last night? Oh shit... I gotta go talk to McDaniels.
Stardate 42626.3
I'm apprehensive about the upcoming shore leave. First of all, being a janitor here on the mighty starship Enterprise, and seeing as I rank just below Ensign and just above the metal blocks they use to test the transporter, I will be vacuuming all 42 decks while all the important people are off on Risa having unprotected sex with aliens. The second reason I am apprehensive is that every time we try to have a relaxing shore leave, something ends up blowing up, or there's a kidnapping, or an outbreak, or a distress call, or the holodeck takes over the ship, or we get stuck in a time loop, or [TRANSMISSION ERROR]
Stardate 42626.3 [continued]
Captain's log 42626.3. After a bizarre vacuuming incident in engineering, the transwarp modifiers sent us into a timeloop in an alternate dimension. Luckily we were able to escape by reversing the flow of the warp drive through a warp capacitor and then releasing the resulting delta field throughout the ship. All time anomalies have been rectified, although there is some concern among the staff that we may have switched [TRANSMISSION ERROR]
Stardate 42626.3 [continued]
or we get stuck in a time loop, or something. I just know it. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Time to get vacuuming. I think I'll start in engineering.
Stardate 42648.1
I don't get it. I'm working my ass of here, but everyone else seems to be on permanent holiday. I just saw La Forge and Data leaving Ten Foward with drinks in their hands, dressed as Sherlock Holmes and Watson, headed for holodeck two. Don't they have, you know, a galaxy-class starship to run? Or alien lifeforms to document? We've discovered two new ones in the past 36 hours (one of which tried to drain our life-force, and the other accidentally transported all of us into empty space to talk to us for 10 seconds before realizing their error). Shouldn't we be writing some of that down for, I dunno, science or history or something? I'm on my way to clean the captain's stank ass fish tank while he's down in recreation sparring with the bartender Guinan. The bartender! Funny, he's never asked the janitor to join him for some friendly fencing practice.
Stardate 42652.4
Just left Galleos VII where we rescued a bunch of mud-dwelling plasmoids from being incinerated by their planet's overactive volcanoes. Not to sound heartless, but doesn't that kinda go against the prime directive? I'm always a bit fuzzy on that. We are not supposed to get in the way of nature or interfere with a species' development, but we seem to be getting involved in the problems of every half-sentient being in this quadrant of the galaxy. All I know is now the transporter room and cargo bay 6 are covered in greenish purple sludge that corrodes titanium alloys. A mop and bucket ain't gonna cut it this time. Last time I dealt with a substance like this, Dr. Crusher had to have my fingertips regrown. Goody for me.
Stardate 42669.5
Shut up Wesley. Shut up Wesley. Shut up Wesley. Shut up Wesley. Shut up Wesley. Shut up Wesley...
Stardate 42721.8
Wow, so much has happened! Where to start. Oh yeah, the ship was damaged by... eh, I can't keep it straight anymore. Anyway, it was damaged, and we lost power and shields and the sensors and transporters stopped working... you know, all the normal stuff that happens every time somebody taps this amazing technological wonder of a ship with a stick. I got stuck on Deck 12 which got flooded with radiation, and we almost died because the turbolift wasn't working. I got to thinking... why don't we have stairs? I mean, none at all? Doesn't that go against fire code regulations dating back about 400 years? Especially since the damn turbolifts are (a) not all that "turbo" and (b) broken every other week? Seems like a serious design flaw. There should be a sign on the door that says "In case of fire... die." Also, seatbelts? Every time we get hit, everyone gets thrown around like rag dolls. I noticed it when I was cleaning up blood on the battle bridge after that encounter with our evil selves from that dimensional inversion near Queantor VI. Seems like a pretty obvious thing to have installed on the chairs on the bridge. I guess they get in the way of the aesthetics. So does this blood stain.
Stardate 42733.2
I got my transfer orders! I'm off of this blasted ship. I can already feel my life-expectancy numbers improving. Good luck Captain Picard, and all the rest of you. Try to stay out of trouble. Don't use the toilet on Deck 16 forward anymore, I can't figure out what's wrong with it. Remind Data to clean that cat's box once in a while, I think he forgets because he can't smell. Oh, and take my advice... next time you see anything anomalous in space, anything at all, just turn around and do like me - get the hell out of there!
Monday, October 14, 2013
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Old Post Update
Today I imported in some old posts from my private journal that I thought should be shared with the whole world! (Or at least the 2 people who will ever read this blog.) This includes all posts from 3/29/09 and earlier.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Miniature Astronauts and Underground Fires
I had some crazy dreams last night.
I was on a spaceship orbiting Earth (or a similar planet) and half of the group went outside. They were doing surprisingly well for not having put on space suits. But then something happened and they got shrunk to about Smurf size. They got stuck outside and came up to the glass window, banging on it and yelling to be let in. One of the guys in the ship with me freaked out and thought we were under attack. He tried to shoot them through the glass with a strange harpoon-ish weapon. It broke the glass and half of the little guys were thrown off. They were hanging onto each other trying to climb back up to the window sill, which could slide up like a normal house window. They managed to get most of the women and children up onto the sill before the guy at the front lost his grip and they all fell towards Earth. Then I was one of them and I was falling miles and miles down to the ground. I was panicking and staring in amazement at how huge the Earth was. I was trying to figure out what we could do, but I couldn't think straight. I think I couldn't breath because of the rush of thin air. I continued falling for a minute or two before passing out.
Next thing I knew I was walking along a forest trail at a park. My dad and our dog Maggie was a little ways ahead on the path. Suddenly I noticed there was an open fire in a pit just to the side of the trail. I looked around, but no one seemed to be camping there, and I thought it was very irresponsible for someone to have lit a fire and then just left it burning. Another guy came along the trail and together we decided we'd just smother it with leaves and dirt and stamp it out. We did this, but then a few yards further on, up a slope, we saw three smaller fires burning up from the ground. As we moved up the little hill, we encountered more and more small fires that seemed to be coming from inside the hill itself. Obviously there was some sort of cave or burrow in the hill that was on fire, and we couldn't stop it. I ran to get the ranger from his cabin on the other side of the hill. It was the guy who guarded the gap in the wall in the movie Stardust. He and a woman ranger came around to look at what was going on. The old man started to climb the hill, and the woman told me not to worry, he used to go to Iceland and stop geysers or something. I climbed up too to see if I could help. At one point I felt the ground shake and I jumped out the way just as fire shot out of the ground like a volcano. Then there was a little girl stuck on the top of the hill. I helped her down to her family, but as I was helping her down the hill was more like a pile of blankets and couch cusions like a fort we used to build in the basement. Finally my Dad showed up to see what was going on and I had to keep Maggie from sniffing around the burning holes in the hill.
Then suddenly I was at home watching TV. I saw Carl Winslow from Family Matters doing the splits in spandex tights in some dancing-with-the-stars-esque reality show, and someone said "See Daddy, he can still do it, why can't you?"
Then I woke up.
I was on a spaceship orbiting Earth (or a similar planet) and half of the group went outside. They were doing surprisingly well for not having put on space suits. But then something happened and they got shrunk to about Smurf size. They got stuck outside and came up to the glass window, banging on it and yelling to be let in. One of the guys in the ship with me freaked out and thought we were under attack. He tried to shoot them through the glass with a strange harpoon-ish weapon. It broke the glass and half of the little guys were thrown off. They were hanging onto each other trying to climb back up to the window sill, which could slide up like a normal house window. They managed to get most of the women and children up onto the sill before the guy at the front lost his grip and they all fell towards Earth. Then I was one of them and I was falling miles and miles down to the ground. I was panicking and staring in amazement at how huge the Earth was. I was trying to figure out what we could do, but I couldn't think straight. I think I couldn't breath because of the rush of thin air. I continued falling for a minute or two before passing out.
Next thing I knew I was walking along a forest trail at a park. My dad and our dog Maggie was a little ways ahead on the path. Suddenly I noticed there was an open fire in a pit just to the side of the trail. I looked around, but no one seemed to be camping there, and I thought it was very irresponsible for someone to have lit a fire and then just left it burning. Another guy came along the trail and together we decided we'd just smother it with leaves and dirt and stamp it out. We did this, but then a few yards further on, up a slope, we saw three smaller fires burning up from the ground. As we moved up the little hill, we encountered more and more small fires that seemed to be coming from inside the hill itself. Obviously there was some sort of cave or burrow in the hill that was on fire, and we couldn't stop it. I ran to get the ranger from his cabin on the other side of the hill. It was the guy who guarded the gap in the wall in the movie Stardust. He and a woman ranger came around to look at what was going on. The old man started to climb the hill, and the woman told me not to worry, he used to go to Iceland and stop geysers or something. I climbed up too to see if I could help. At one point I felt the ground shake and I jumped out the way just as fire shot out of the ground like a volcano. Then there was a little girl stuck on the top of the hill. I helped her down to her family, but as I was helping her down the hill was more like a pile of blankets and couch cusions like a fort we used to build in the basement. Finally my Dad showed up to see what was going on and I had to keep Maggie from sniffing around the burning holes in the hill.
Then suddenly I was at home watching TV. I saw Carl Winslow from Family Matters doing the splits in spandex tights in some dancing-with-the-stars-esque reality show, and someone said "See Daddy, he can still do it, why can't you?"
Then I woke up.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Frankie Manning
Frankie Manning died today. He was just a month away from celebrating his 95th birthday at a huge swing event in New York. I always hoped I would get a chance to meet him or at least take a workshop with him before he was gone. Well, it's too late now. I hope when I'm old, I'm still dancing, doing what I love, like him. And I hope at least a handful of people remember me from my dance classes and think that I gave them something worthwhile.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Rainy Day
Today was a windy, rainy day. When I went out to lunch, I was miserable. I zipped up my jacket and squinted my eyes and got upset about being wet. On my way back, I just decided to smile. Suddenly, the rain was fun. And for some bizzare reason that made me want to start a weblog.
Rainy day, dream away
Ah let the sun take a holiday
Flowers bathe an' ah see the children play
Lay back and groove on a rainy day.
- Jimi Hendrix
Rainy day, dream away
Ah let the sun take a holiday
Flowers bathe an' ah see the children play
Lay back and groove on a rainy day.
- Jimi Hendrix
Friday, March 27, 2009
Jazz Lessons
I started on Clarinet in 5th grade and played up until my 2nd year of college. I'm actually pretty good. Not phenomenal, but pretty good. I never took music theory or paid much attention to scales and chords and the like. I'm good at playing what's written on the page, not thinking about it so much.
I've always wanted to be able to play jazz. It just looks like so much fun. And I know I can improvise, I'm a dancer. I've done tap improv in front of audiences before no sweat. So I started taking jazz lessons, assuming it would come naturally to me without too much effort on my part. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.
I don't understand 1/2 of what my teacher says. He assumes I know a lot more music theory than I do, seeing as I've been playing music so long. He says "B minor 7 chord" and slaps four fingers down on the piano, and I think "uuhhhhhhhhnngggggh" as my fingers randomly flutter around. I don't know the chord, I can barely remember how to play B-major. My fingers know how to do it, but I don't know what notes I'm playing. Or how to make it minor. And extracting the chord from that makes my head explode. I freeze up, try a couple wrong notes, freeze up again. I try to start slowly.
"Ok, B... B... ok, this is B. Do notes go up or down? Up, so the next one is A. No, C. How many flats in B? No wait, sharps. How many sharps? Like 5, or 6? C has gotta be one of them, ok, so C#. B, C#, A, no D. D#? Aha! D# is the 3rd. OK, if I can just remember that long enough to calculate the 5th and 7th, I'll have a chord. Oh shit... minor?"
All of that takes my teacher about 0.1 seconds to figure out. He just knows it. And while he's rattling on about how to go up the chord on a pivot to the 3rd of the next chord, play chromatically down to the root, then scale tones down and enclose the 7th, I'm still going "uhhhhhnnnnggghhh... is F# the 5th?" It's frustrating, for both of us. I can tell he feels like I am wasting both of our time, and I totally agree with him. The only way I'll get this stuff is to practice. But I don't. Ever. Not sometimes, or rarely, but never. I just can't seem to find time. I have a couple free hours during the week, and all I want to do with them is sit on the couch with a beer and a movie and try not to think about what time I have to get up in the morning. I feel like I am so far behind where he expects me to be, there's no way to catch up. It's like I'm trying to surf, but the wave is already past me so there's nothing to ride, and I'm just drowning in it's wake.
I've tried several times to work up the courage to quit. But every week I go I feel miserable and guilty, and then I think "OK, this week I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna practice every day, and I'm gonna get this stuff" but I never do. I want to. I want to be good at this, I want to be able to jam with a swing band at a dance and just have fun with it. I miss playing. But I hate feeling like a beginner again. I'd forgotten how hard it is to be a beginner at anything. It's easier when you're in school because everyone's a beginner together, but now it's just me, and I feel pathetic.
I'm going to practice tonight.
I've always wanted to be able to play jazz. It just looks like so much fun. And I know I can improvise, I'm a dancer. I've done tap improv in front of audiences before no sweat. So I started taking jazz lessons, assuming it would come naturally to me without too much effort on my part. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.
I don't understand 1/2 of what my teacher says. He assumes I know a lot more music theory than I do, seeing as I've been playing music so long. He says "B minor 7 chord" and slaps four fingers down on the piano, and I think "uuhhhhhhhhnngggggh" as my fingers randomly flutter around. I don't know the chord, I can barely remember how to play B-major. My fingers know how to do it, but I don't know what notes I'm playing. Or how to make it minor. And extracting the chord from that makes my head explode. I freeze up, try a couple wrong notes, freeze up again. I try to start slowly.
"Ok, B... B... ok, this is B. Do notes go up or down? Up, so the next one is A. No, C. How many flats in B? No wait, sharps. How many sharps? Like 5, or 6? C has gotta be one of them, ok, so C#. B, C#, A, no D. D#? Aha! D# is the 3rd. OK, if I can just remember that long enough to calculate the 5th and 7th, I'll have a chord. Oh shit... minor?"
All of that takes my teacher about 0.1 seconds to figure out. He just knows it. And while he's rattling on about how to go up the chord on a pivot to the 3rd of the next chord, play chromatically down to the root, then scale tones down and enclose the 7th, I'm still going "uhhhhhnnnnggghhh... is F# the 5th?" It's frustrating, for both of us. I can tell he feels like I am wasting both of our time, and I totally agree with him. The only way I'll get this stuff is to practice. But I don't. Ever. Not sometimes, or rarely, but never. I just can't seem to find time. I have a couple free hours during the week, and all I want to do with them is sit on the couch with a beer and a movie and try not to think about what time I have to get up in the morning. I feel like I am so far behind where he expects me to be, there's no way to catch up. It's like I'm trying to surf, but the wave is already past me so there's nothing to ride, and I'm just drowning in it's wake.
I've tried several times to work up the courage to quit. But every week I go I feel miserable and guilty, and then I think "OK, this week I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna practice every day, and I'm gonna get this stuff" but I never do. I want to. I want to be good at this, I want to be able to jam with a swing band at a dance and just have fun with it. I miss playing. But I hate feeling like a beginner again. I'd forgotten how hard it is to be a beginner at anything. It's easier when you're in school because everyone's a beginner together, but now it's just me, and I feel pathetic.
I'm going to practice tonight.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Ramblings on the Supernatural
I am a realist, naturalist, materialist, atheist... I'm not sure what to call myself. It's a difficult thing to explain to most people, but I will do my best. Everything in the universe happens because of cause and effect, governed by physics and mathematics. There is nothing outside of this. This comprises the whole of reality. Anything beyond this view of the universe is what I call supernatural. This includes ESP, magic, ghosts, souls, gods.. anything I can't explain with a mathematical model.
In prehistoric times, everything around us was beyond our abilities to explain. Why does it rain? Because the rain god sends rain. Ahhh, it feels good to have an explanation. But eventually we discovered that clouds were made of water vapor and that when they reach the dew point they condense into water which falls out of the sky because of gravity. Well, who made the earth and sun and sky to make all that possible? Musta been God! Ahhh, it feels good to have an explanation. But eventually we discovered that the earth and sun and sky were created by swirling gasses left over from a supernova 5 billion years ago in the Milky Way galaxy, and that that was a result of the original Big Bang which created all matter and time in the universe. Oh! But somebody must have set off the Big Bang. That musta been God. Ahhh, it feels good to have an explanation. It's only a matter of time before we can explain the Big Bang, and then the supernatural will be pushed back even farther. To put it in math terms, the limit of God, as knowledge approaches infinity, does not exist.
I believe science is the process of converting what is perceived to be supernatural and making it natural. As we learn more about the universe, the need for God disappears. As we learn more about the mind and body, the need for a soul disappears. I believe that if we could continue learning forever, we could do away with all things supernatural. Most people are not comfortable with this. They feel it reduces us to mere automotons, biological computers that can't make independent decisions. I don't argue that that is what we are, but I don't think that reduces us. It is still a wonderful and amazing thing to be alive, to be Human, to think and feel and love and hope and be the wonderfully complex beings that we are. Just because it's the result of physics and chemistry doesn't make it any less real. This is the whole of reality, there is no higher consciousness for us to aspire to, so what are we being reduced from? If you believe in angels and gods and souls than of course being just a series of chemical reactions is unromantic and depressing. An example would be if we lived in 2-dimensions, everything flat. The entire universe was 2-dimensions. What need is there to invent a 3rd dimension and then lament the fact that we can't attain it? Or to pretend that what we can't explain happens in the 3rd dimension. I think everything is explainable in the world we are in, and that nothing fantastical needs to be invented to explain it any better. And I wouldn't be depressed by the realization that I was only a 2-dimensional being, because to me, two is all there is. Sure if you believe in 3, then thinking that you will only ever be 2 would be sad... you wouldn't want to accept it.
But just because I don't believe in the supernatural doesn't mean I don't think it's possible. Anything is possible, but some things are much more probably than others. A meteor could crash into me and kill me right now, yet I have no fear of that happening. It's possible that there exists a separate set of rules that govern the universe, that has no observable impact on my life, no proof of existence, and yet could account for God, souls, and everything else. It's possible that some people can detect this, and some can't, and that I am one who can't. All of this is possible. But I were to accept everything that is possible, it would be the same as not believing anything. I have to take what I know to be the most probable explanation of the universe and treat that as the truth, even if it's possible I am wrong.
I don't believe in a soul-mate. I don't believe that there is just one person who you are meant to be with, and no one else can make you as happy or complete as that person. I believe everyone is different, and that we each have relationships in different ways, we each compliment each other slightly different. I believe that finding someone who makes you truly happy is a rare and wonderful chance, and that when you find it you should hold on to it. If you lose it, it's true that it is possible to find it again. But you might take years to find it, or you may never find it. And certainly, the experience will never be the same. It will be a different person, a different connection, a different time in your life. So when you find someone that makes you truly happy, happier than you've ever been before, someone who compliments you in ways you didn't think anyone could, you hold onto that, you fight for it, as if they were the only ones you could ever feel that way about.
I could have any number of possible lives. Some of them happy, some of them sad. Every day I make choices about what to keep and what to change in my life. Every day I make choices that could lead me down different paths. In an infinite universe, anything is possible, even the supernatural. These paths can take me to any place I want to go.
And every day, I choose you.
In prehistoric times, everything around us was beyond our abilities to explain. Why does it rain? Because the rain god sends rain. Ahhh, it feels good to have an explanation. But eventually we discovered that clouds were made of water vapor and that when they reach the dew point they condense into water which falls out of the sky because of gravity. Well, who made the earth and sun and sky to make all that possible? Musta been God! Ahhh, it feels good to have an explanation. But eventually we discovered that the earth and sun and sky were created by swirling gasses left over from a supernova 5 billion years ago in the Milky Way galaxy, and that that was a result of the original Big Bang which created all matter and time in the universe. Oh! But somebody must have set off the Big Bang. That musta been God. Ahhh, it feels good to have an explanation. It's only a matter of time before we can explain the Big Bang, and then the supernatural will be pushed back even farther. To put it in math terms, the limit of God, as knowledge approaches infinity, does not exist.
I believe science is the process of converting what is perceived to be supernatural and making it natural. As we learn more about the universe, the need for God disappears. As we learn more about the mind and body, the need for a soul disappears. I believe that if we could continue learning forever, we could do away with all things supernatural. Most people are not comfortable with this. They feel it reduces us to mere automotons, biological computers that can't make independent decisions. I don't argue that that is what we are, but I don't think that reduces us. It is still a wonderful and amazing thing to be alive, to be Human, to think and feel and love and hope and be the wonderfully complex beings that we are. Just because it's the result of physics and chemistry doesn't make it any less real. This is the whole of reality, there is no higher consciousness for us to aspire to, so what are we being reduced from? If you believe in angels and gods and souls than of course being just a series of chemical reactions is unromantic and depressing. An example would be if we lived in 2-dimensions, everything flat. The entire universe was 2-dimensions. What need is there to invent a 3rd dimension and then lament the fact that we can't attain it? Or to pretend that what we can't explain happens in the 3rd dimension. I think everything is explainable in the world we are in, and that nothing fantastical needs to be invented to explain it any better. And I wouldn't be depressed by the realization that I was only a 2-dimensional being, because to me, two is all there is. Sure if you believe in 3, then thinking that you will only ever be 2 would be sad... you wouldn't want to accept it.
But just because I don't believe in the supernatural doesn't mean I don't think it's possible. Anything is possible, but some things are much more probably than others. A meteor could crash into me and kill me right now, yet I have no fear of that happening. It's possible that there exists a separate set of rules that govern the universe, that has no observable impact on my life, no proof of existence, and yet could account for God, souls, and everything else. It's possible that some people can detect this, and some can't, and that I am one who can't. All of this is possible. But I were to accept everything that is possible, it would be the same as not believing anything. I have to take what I know to be the most probable explanation of the universe and treat that as the truth, even if it's possible I am wrong.
I don't believe in a soul-mate. I don't believe that there is just one person who you are meant to be with, and no one else can make you as happy or complete as that person. I believe everyone is different, and that we each have relationships in different ways, we each compliment each other slightly different. I believe that finding someone who makes you truly happy is a rare and wonderful chance, and that when you find it you should hold on to it. If you lose it, it's true that it is possible to find it again. But you might take years to find it, or you may never find it. And certainly, the experience will never be the same. It will be a different person, a different connection, a different time in your life. So when you find someone that makes you truly happy, happier than you've ever been before, someone who compliments you in ways you didn't think anyone could, you hold onto that, you fight for it, as if they were the only ones you could ever feel that way about.
I could have any number of possible lives. Some of them happy, some of them sad. Every day I make choices about what to keep and what to change in my life. Every day I make choices that could lead me down different paths. In an infinite universe, anything is possible, even the supernatural. These paths can take me to any place I want to go.
And every day, I choose you.
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